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      <title>STONE-COLD GEMINI</title>
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 <title>idiot gets published</title>
 <link>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=333</link>
<description><![CDATA[<div class="leftbox"><a href="http://stonecoldgemini.com/media/1/20100810-holly-184x300.jpg">20100810-holly-184x300.jpg</a></div>A friend put me on to Holly Hill, the author of <i>Sugarbabe</i>, which, as it turns out, was just published in July. I don’t normally have my finger on the pulse of stupidity, but here we are. <br />
<br />
Just based on my buddy’s description of Hill as a self-proclaimed “naughty feminist” who thinks men should be allowed to cheat on their wives because the brawnier sex is hardwired to be promiscuous, I assumed Hill was nursing a severe heartache. A little googling – cherchez l’homme! – and the truth came out. <br />
<br />
<blockquote><a href="http://www.marieclaire.com/celebrity-lifestyle/articles/living/how-to-find-a-sugar-daddy?click=main_sr">A few years ago</a>, Holly Hill left her job as a psychologist in Sydney, Australia, at the request of her married investment-firm-owner boyfriend, who wanted a full-time mistress. Everything was AmEx black cards, La Perla underwear, and hot sex, until her lover got the guilts and went home to his wife. Hill was left with a broken heart, a half-written novel, and a mortgage she couldn't afford… </blockquote> <br />
<br />
So after a devastating breakup that left her an emotional wreck, this 35-year-old former psychologist posted an ad for herself as a mistress who would cook, clean, converse and put out for an allowance. A year later, and she’s gathered enough material... ... to write a memoir revealing what men really want out of relationship. Guess what – it’s sex, and you aren’t giving your man enough. And that’s why he’s going to leave you, just like Hill’s man left her!<br />
In order to prevent this most heinous of eventualities, Hill counsels women to pull out every feminine trick in our handbags: <br />
<br />
1. <a href="http://www.tressugar.com/Sugarbabe-Author-Holly-Hill-Interview-9069552">Incite his jealousy</a>: "Always remind him how valuable you are, how popular you are, and drop subtle hints that other men still find you desirable." <br />
<br />
2. <a href="http://www.tressugar.com/Sugarbabe-Author-Holly-Hill-Interview-9069552">Be high-maintenance</a>: "Don't let yourself go — there is nothing less valued than a commodity that no one else wants." <br />
<br />
3. <a href="http://www.lemondrop.com/2010/07/14/sugarbabe-infidelity-why-women-should-let-men-cheat/#comments">Be controlling</a>: Hill’s “naughty feminist” may be okay with having an open relationship, but there are still rules that must be followed. For example, Hill’s man “may sleep with every woman in the WMBA for all [she] care[s], but he's not permitted to spoon any of them.” And if you do find out your man is sleeping with someone else, harness that jealousy and establish a relationship with the other woman so you can collaborate on keeping your (collective) man happy. Knowledge is power: so long as you know EVERYTHING that he's doing when you're not around, you are in control. <br />
<br />
4. <a href="http://www.lemondrop.com/2010/07/14/sugarbabe-infidelity-why-women-should-let-men-cheat/#comments">Be patronizing</a>: Men are no better than dogs which have no control over their hormones, so there’s no harm in letting the poor guys indulge in little fucking on the side now and then: “Naughty feminism is walking the dog on a leash rather than letting it escape through a hole in the back fence.” <br />
<br />
This is the same happily-ever-after fantasy dressed up in fuck-me heels and fishnets. No, sorry Holly, even if you let your man fuck around, and you fuck around on him just to prove how fuckable you are, there is no guarantee that he is going to stay with you forever and ever. Hell, there’s no guarantee that you will want to stay with him forever. Out of just nowhere, someone taller, darker, and more handsome might come along and just whisk you off your feet, and even that negotiated infidelity that you so carefully formulated might not be enough; you might actually want to stay at your new lover’s house for days on end, and not return to your own steady piece of ass. <br />
<br />
Nonsense like this from a so-called “naughty” woman is actually the plaintive moan of a maladjusted child who is just ever so slowly learning that the world is not a very nice place. She’s making her last pathetic grasp at control, as though if you were to make everything just right, you can control the way another person behaves and feels. Worst of all, she wanders off the entertaining path of description into prescription, claiming that “<a href="http://www.lemondrop.com/2010/07/14/sugarbabe-infidelity-why-women-should-let-men-cheat/#comments">women who cross their legs deserve to be cheated on</a>."<br />
<br />
It’s frustrating because no sooner were women told that we could have sex for fun then we were told we have to, and just how to do it. It’s not conceivable that both men and women, whether because of nature or nurture, come in every stripe of the rainbow. Some men enjoy monogamy, so do some women. I hope they find each other. Some men and women might be open to sharing their affections and their bodies with more than one person and are comfortable letting their partners do the same. I hope they find each other. Some are cowards who lie to their partners about what they want and where they’ve been; they fuck around yet would be furious and inconsolable if their partners did the same. Some prefer the thrill of the lie and the risk of getting caught to be being open and honest. I hope I never unwittingly get involved with these insecure and dishonest types.<br />
 <br />
Anyway, this is all a joke. Congratulations to Skyhorse Publishing for pissing off a bunch of feminists for a couple of weeks, but I don't have the attention span — or the stomach — for this nonsense. <br />
]]></description>
 <category>Rants and Fumes </category>
<comments>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=333</comments>
 <pubDate>Tue, 10 Aug 2010 19:32:35 -0500</pubDate>
</item><item>
 <title>Baby girls develop breasts; hormones in formula blamed</title>
 <link>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=331</link>
<description><![CDATA[Medical tests on three infant girls who were developing breasts revealed the hormones estradiol and prolactin in the babies exceeded those of the average adult woman, <a href="http://chinadaily.com.cn/china/2010-08/09/content_11117619.htm">state media</a> reported. The parents of the little girls, aged four-15 months, blamed the infant formula. <br />
<br />
<blockquote>When one parent requested that the formula be tested, the local administration of quality supervision, inspection and quarantine refused on the grounds that it only conducts tests for organizations, not individuals.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, hospitals, usually do not have the facilities or trained staff to perform such tests, according to the report. </blockquote> <br />
<br />
One official noted it was entirely possible for the hormones to be present in the milk, but that they likely weren't added by the producer, Syrutra, a Qingdao-based company. <br />
<br />
<blockquote>"It's not likely for the manufacturers to add hormones to their products, because it won't help them sell or pass any tests at all," Wang told China Daily on Sunday.<br />
<br />
That does not mean the formula did not contain any hormones, he said, adding that the substance might have entered the food chain when the cattle were reared by farmers.<br />
<br />
"Since a regulation forbidding the use of hormones to cultivate livestock has yet to be drawn up in China, it would be lying to say that nobody uses it," he said. </blockquote> <br />
<br />
As my colleague said, "WTF is wrong with this place?" What the hell are people doing wrong that little baby girls end up with breasts, that they end up with more hormones in their little bodies than adult women have? Even in the US, where people who know better are in constant fear of what's in their food, little girls who eat too much McDonald's might experience early onset puberty at seven years old, NOT FOUR MONTHS!<br />
<br />
At least part of the problem is with parents who think giving their babies the formula that is marketed as the magic stuff that will make their little one smarter and develop faster than all his or her peers is better than breastfeeding. Some folks are on the right track: <a href="http://womenofchina.cn/news/Spotlight/221199.jsp">In honor of World Breastfeeding Week</a> (which was last week), hospitals in Henan province distributed medical care subsidy cards worth RMB300 (roughly US$50) to breastfeeding mothers. <br />
<br />
<blockquote>Women holding these cards can check in to Shaoling District Maternity and Child Health Hospital, which treats lactating breast disease in a specialized out-patient reception area. Experts offer free medical treatment to women suffering from breast engorgement, oligogalactia, agalactosis, acute mastitis, etc. The activity, held from Aug 1 to Aug 14, has been welcomed by local women. It has contributed to public understanding of the importance of breastfeeding, and encouraged all of society to encourage and support breastfeeding in efforts to create a caring social environment for new mothers and their infants. </blockquote>]]></description>
 <category>In the news </category>
<comments>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=331</comments>
 <pubDate>Mon, 9 Aug 2010 05:40:49 -0500</pubDate>
</item><item>
 <title>love and marriage</title>
 <link>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=329</link>
<description><![CDATA[There was an enjoyable survey of the evolution of the marriage law and the effect it's had on Chinese people's lives and relationships in the <a href="http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2010-08/04/content_11089700.htm">China Daily</a> the other day. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://stonecoldgemini.com/media/1/20100805-marriage.jpg">Married couple in the 1960s</a><br />
<br />
I also looked up an English version <a href="http://www.nyconsulate.prchina.org/eng/lsqz/laws/t42222.htm">the marriage law</a>, if you are interested. ]]></description>
 <category>In the news </category>
<comments>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=329</comments>
 <pubDate>Thu, 5 Aug 2010 02:34:59 -0500</pubDate>
</item><item>
 <title>&quot;But here in China, and all over the world, men&apos;s dominance has not been threatened.&quot;</title>
 <link>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=327</link>
<description><![CDATA[A recent poll of 6,021 men revealed that 80% believe they are under so much stress that a Men's Day is essential, <a href="http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2010-08/04/content_11089224.htm">state media</a> reported, citing the results of a nationwide poll. Respondents proposed August 3 (the third day of the eighth month) as the date of Men's Day as it echoes the date of International Women's Day on March 8 (however, March 8 is 3.8, and three-eight, or <i>san ba</i>, means stupid woman in Chinese). Men typically have more physically demanding jobs and a shorter life expectancy, so some feel they deserve the extra day off to relieve stress.<br />
<br />
Arguably, one extra day off a year isn't going to really drive down the stress of a gainfully employed person, male or female. For example, I didn't even realize it was Women's Day this year until I got an e-mail from HR at noon notifying us we could go home at 2:00. At that point, I already had so many things underway that I didn't go home until 5:00, anyway. All that meant was that I got to cook dinner an hour earlier than usual.<br />
<br />
However, the article also mentions a "'2010 international men's day' co-organized by the four major men's magazines... ... on the mainland, including Esquire, For Him Magazine, Men's Health and Bazaar Men", which makes this whole proposal stink of corporate meddling. It's another day for sales on cell phones, cards, and egg custard cakes to let your man know how much you appreciate all his hard work. <br />
<br />
A professor against the idea of a Men's Day thinks it is "mostly youngsters with higher educational background" who are agitating for a special day of recognition. "They have seen plenty of women who have excelled in the workplace. They feel their status is threatened, but they should bear in mind that improvements in women's work performances will not impair men's mobility," says Xu Anqi, a researcher at the Shanghai Academy of Social Sciences. <br />
<br />
Other are more staunchly against a holiday that might expose men's vulnerable bits:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>Wen Qiang, an editor of Shanghai Foreign Language Education Press, said that he finds that the so-called men's day simply doesn't make sense.<br />
<br />
"It is totally unnecessary to set up a men's day. To me, the source of men's stress is their craving for recognition from society," said Wen, a self-proclaimed chauvinist.<br />
<br />
"If a man has his tough appearance threatened, and his weak inner heart exposed, he will feel even more stressed. After all, it is not widely accepted that a man can boldly show his feminine characteristics on the outside."<br />
<br />
Men's day, he said, is a tool for those who worry about the rise of women's social status.<br />
<br />
"It is true that some women are overtaking men in the fields of economy, culture and politics," said Wen.<br />
<br />
"But here in China, and all over the world, men's dominance has not been threatened." </blockquote> 
]]></description>
 <category>In the news </category>
<comments>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=327</comments>
 <pubDate>Wed, 4 Aug 2010 20:59:21 -0500</pubDate>
</item><item>
 <title>Starter husbands</title>
 <link>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=325</link>
<description><![CDATA[<div class="leftbox"><a href="http://stonecoldgemini.com/media/1/20100804-mina.jpg">Mina Hanbury-Tenison</a></div>Author Mina Hanbury-Tenison caused a fuss a couple of weeks ago when her book, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Shanghai-Girls-Unsentimental-Mina-Hanbury-Tenison/dp/9881841941/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1280969764&amp;sr=1-1"><i>Shanghai Girls: Uncensored and Unsentimental</i></a> was released. Apparently, it was upsetting to some to realize that Shanghainese (or any) women might be marrying for money, and downright offensive to give them a how-to manual. <br />
<br />
People get upset because they would like to pretend that they're relationships are based purely and solely on love. That's right, Mr. Paunchy Middle-aged Selfish Man who has heretofore been a repellent to women and many respectable men and looks like a waterlogged carcass, that hot 20-year-old Chinese chick totally digs how you have no butt and your nose hair is getting kinda bushy. She was totally not sold when you bought her that designer handbag. Nope, she fell in love for the first time when your drunk ass pushed her onto the bed and passed out on top of her. <br />
<br />
The point is that if some people want to run their game likes it an economic transaction -- and it's at least partly an economic transaction in every case that one partner doesn't have or doesn't exercise his or her ability to generate a personal income -- then let them. And... ... if Hanbury-Tenison wants to write about the scandalous Shanghainese women who use their personal relationships as business platforms, let her. <div class="rightbox"><a href="http://stonecoldgemini.com/media/1/20100804-shanghai girls.jpg">Shanghai Girls: Uncensored and Unsentimental</a></div><br />
<br />
But if you don't want to be loved for your looks alone, or your money alone, then don't sell your looks or your money. In the real world, a grown-up decision might mean doing something you don't like to get the things you do like, or even the things you need. It's unfortunate, however, that these women who are smart enough to have a business plan about marriage including upgrading husbands like getting a promotion lack the opportunity or the ambition to get what they want for themselves. 
]]></description>
 <category>Books</category>
<comments>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=325</comments>
 <pubDate>Wed, 4 Aug 2010 20:20:39 -0500</pubDate>
</item><item>
 <title>seriously why?</title>
 <link>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=323</link>
<description><![CDATA[I have been holding off on writing this post for a few weeks now, but since my recent diet of articles about the shitty circumstances of Chinese women isn't doing much for me, I am gonna have to go ahead and let this pot boil over. <br />
<br />
Why, when I post a link to an article on <a href="http://www.slate.com/id/2248156">slate.com</a> about "omega males" on my Facebook page (and it's my fucking Facebook page, you jerks, not even this blog, which is arguably more public) do my male "friends" leave asinine comments like "retool this" (the runt of the litter); "yeah well you show me a woman who wouldn't be happy if her man stood up for her" (you illiterate ass that's what the article was about, men who have basically thrown in the towel -- and picked up the  because the "traditional" masculinity isn't working for them anymore); and some ridiculous, puerile rant: "the image of the american woman has changed 50 times? oh yeah? that's cause american women change their clothes 50 times before they go out only to realize they're still fat in no matter what they wear"? Why? WHY?<br />
<br />
It's my Facebook page, where we go through the stupid formalities... ... of asking each other to be recognized as friends and you come wipe the shit from the bottom of your shoe on my wall. These were not anonymous cretins, no, two of them are cretins that I actually hang out with. Or did, until they proved to be so insecure in their own fragile masculinity that I can't even post social commentary on my own Facebook page without attracting their attention. It wasn't even an angry feminist article, though I would still be pissed if it had been and they had responded like that. But it was an interesting article about the way gender roles are playing out, and it asked a question, and these monkeys couldn't take the time to read it before spouting off.<br />
<br />
And why tonight? Why am I writing about this now? Because another Facebook friend who regularly posts lovely, interesting articles about women's issues, about body image issues, about sexuality, posted a Gail Dines column about "Stepford sluts," or the modern imperative for women to be high-maintenance sexual objects and the negative effect that has on young women. And you know what? Three (THREE) (3!) of her male friends wrote supportive comments in response. Nice things like "so true" and thoughtful things like "what utter crap to say pole dancing etc is empowering- that hypersexualisation is about sexual liberation is bullshit." <br />
<br />
The day this piss got sprayed on my wall, I deleted the comments (and I feel like such a junior high student complaining about something that happened on Facebook, but this is how we communicate now; this is what we've been reduced to) and put the commentators on my limited profile list to prevent them from randomly relieving themselves of their most useless thoughts in my forum again. But one was persistent and while I tried to avoid him, we do have a couple of mutual friends and up until then that point I'd had a much better impression of him, so finally we had to meet up. I chided him gently (I very gently called him an asshole, but I was smiling despite myself), but when we met for dinner later that week, another friend "warned" me against letting other people know where my "buttons" were. Basically, what I took from that waste of a conversation was that I shouldn't let anyone see me reading <i>The Second Sex</i> or post articles about gender on my post, because if someone suspects I am a feminist, they will use that knowledge to say annoying, painfully stupid things, and I will only have myself to blame. This same person later that night asked me if I had heard of the French singer he was into lately because, "She's a lesbian and you're, you know, a feminist." And he's gay. And he can speak like eight languages. <br />
<br />
How have I managed to find one of the last remaining pockets of reasonably intelligent people who still think feminism is a dirty word? Why are some people magnets for like good-looking male feminists and I get, well, the others? 
]]></description>
 <category>Rants and Fumes </category>
<comments>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=323</comments>
 <pubDate>Mon, 2 Aug 2010 10:44:17 -0500</pubDate>
</item><item>
 <title>Drugged up 17-year-old guilty of group licentiousness</title>
 <link>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=321</link>
<description><![CDATA[I first came across this story on <a href="http://www.echinacities.com/main/ChinaMedia/ChinaMediaInfo.aspx?n=5610&amp;pageindex=1">eChinacities.com</a>: <br />
<br />
<blockquote> Li Jie was officially charged with having committed “group licentiousness” and the first hearing of the case and arraignment was held on May 27th. During the preliminary arraignment, the court has heard statements from both the city prosecutor and from the defendant.<br />
<br />
A worker with the court has disclosed that there will be a second trial and hearing soon, but because the defendant is still a minor, the trial will still be held behind closed doors for protection of delicate details and privacy of the defendant.<br />
<br />
Li Jie's father has expressed disbelief when interviewed about the case, saying that his daughter had been a victim who had gone to the police to report a crime but had then been charged, arrested, and arraigned to appear in court as a defendant – a totally “bizarre” turn of events that has been difficult for him to comprehend. “The whole thing has left me in shock,” a distraught father of Li Jie has said, refusing to make any more comments about the case until after the final sentencing.</blockquote> <br />
<br />
There is actually a picture that I assume was a still frame from the video of this girl in a k-hole. Basically, then, there is a picture on this news site of a 17-year-old girl getting raped. <br />
<br />
The <a href="http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/cndy/2010-06/09/content_9952171.htm">China Daily</a> account has a few more details:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>Li's case became public after a video showing her engaging in sex with three male students was posted on the Internet in late February.<br />
<br />
Once authorities at Li's school became aware of it, she was asked to quit or transfer to another school on March 1.<br />
<br />
Li's father then took his daughter to Houjie branch of Dongguan public security bureau in search of help on March 9.<br />
<br />
Li was detained for organizing group sex parties on March 15. She was released on bail, pending the trial, after being held in detention for 25 days. </blockquote> <br />
<br />
There's no report of any of the men/boys involved in the orgy getting in trouble for it. Either they aren't being held responsible for their actions or they are getting punished, but somehow it isn't newsworthy. <br />
<br />
How is it that this girl goes to the police to report a crime and gets arraigned for it? Even dead sober, she's still a child. And even if she willingly, soberly participated in group sex, she's a child. What kind of legal system is set up to punish the victims of a crime and children? ]]></description>
 <category>General</category>
<comments>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=321</comments>
 <pubDate>Sat, 24 Jul 2010 10:27:00 -0500</pubDate>
</item><item>
 <title>Prostitutes humiliated in Dongguan</title>
 <link>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=319</link>
<description><![CDATA[Police in Dongguan city, Guangdong province are being criticized for publicly humiliating two women arrested as prostitutes, according to a story on <a href="http://www.echinacities.com/main/ChinaMedia/ChinaMediaInfo.aspx?n=5800">eChinacities.com</a>. The two women, barefoot and handcuffed, were led by ropes around their waist back to the club where they were arrested. The police then took photos of them while a group of onlookers observed in the background. Angry Chinese netizens claimed the police were trying to publicly humiliate the women and described their treatment as "inhumane", but the Dongguan police said they were following standard procedure which requires the alleged criminals to be photographed at the scene of their crimes. <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center"><a href="http://stonecoldgemini.com/media/1/20100723-prostitute.jpg">Public humiliation.</a></div><br />
<br />
Their pimps were reportedly also arrested, but there are no pictures of them or any news to indicate that they were led barefoot and handcuffed with a rope around their waist. Considering how <a href="http://www.echinacities.com/main/ExpatCorner/ExpatsCorner.aspx?n=4231">ubiquitous</a> prostitution is here, it's pretty shit that these women can be led around like evil harlots by men who'd likely pay for them when then sun goes down, or at least turn a blind eye so long as they were getting their cut. Thank goodness for the Asian games or these young women would be running amock, sleeping with middle-aged, drunken, sweaty businessmen... ... for negligible amounts of money all over the place. 
]]></description>
 <category>Women</category>
<comments>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=319</comments>
 <pubDate>Fri, 23 Jul 2010 05:13:02 -0500</pubDate>
</item><item>
 <title>dying to be in love</title>
 <link>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=317</link>
<description><![CDATA[In the <a href="http://www.chinapost.com.tw/taiwan/local/taipei/2010/06/14/260592/Woman-in.htm"><i>China Post</i></a>, one of Taiwan's daily English language newspapers, I came across this story about a women in a relationship with a married police officer who killed herself after a year of keeping the relationship in the dark. <br />
<br />
<blockquote>Local reporters said Chao [the police officer] admitted the affair and said arguments often took place between him and Fu, who has more than once cried out that she wanted to kill herself.<br />
<br />
But Chao didn't know that “she was for real” this time, reporters added.</blockquote> <br />
<br />
The article describes her as a 44 year-old businesswoman. So she must have been a professional, but whatever else she had going for her wasn't enough to compensate for the heartache she was feeling as a result of her apparently failed love life. She couldn't end the relationship with the married man and resolve to find a more suitable companion. <br />
<br />
She and the police officer had been sharing an apartment in Taipei but he refused to leave his wife and make their relationship public. She threatened suicide before but finally followed through with it in the first week of June. Chao said he didn't believe she would really do it this time. <br />
<br />
Now I'm just finishing up the last fifty pages of <i>The Second Sex</i> and while much of it resonates with me as an American woman in 2010, more often I find myself jotting notes about Chinese women I know in the margins. So often, when I am talking to friends from Taiwan or the mainland about relationships, the mentality I encounter is like something from a bygone era. <br />
<br />
"Oh, you are so lucky to have a boyfriend to protect you!" one smiles.<br />
<br />
More than a few women I know have stayed with adulterous or even abusive partners because they claim to be in love and believe that love is the highest achievement and its demands can never be considered too high. <br />
<br />
Of course, you always have to qualify observations like this by pointing out that there are delusional women in the US, but by and large, I am never surprised to encounter this attitude in China, but I would be taken aback if I heard an American peer talking like this. <br />
<br />
In the US, as women's employment prospects continue to increase and improve, as more women are getting higher degrees and assuming more positions of increasing responsibility, they are also enjoying more flexible social roles and more autonomy. As Hanna Rosin quoted a woman in her controversial article <a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2010/07/the-end-of-men/8135/">"The End of Men"</a> in the <i>Atlantic Monthly</i>, "Men are the new ball and chain." Now that's a flippant remark outside the scope of this blog, but it is an indication of how much attitudes toward relationships and the partriarchy have changed in the US. (There's still lots to get worked up about, but patriarchal attitudes in the US are becoming less of a hurdle and more of a nuisance in my opinion.) <br />
<br />
In China, however, where everything is done on a larger scale, a few Chinese businesswomen number among the richest people in the world, but the attitudes toward love and relationships still are still old-fashioned. You can be educated, talented and successful, but you still feel yourself at a disadvantage without a man to call your own. In the five years I lived in Taiwan, I found this attitude to be even more pronounced than it is here in Shanghai. Beautiful, college-educated, bright women would spend their evenings stalking wayward exes. One American man escaped to the bar one night to confess to us all that he was unhappy in his relationship with a Taiwanese women but couldn't break up with her; mostly because she would scale the walls of his home and crawl into his bedroom to harangue and abuse him and throw fits about how much she loved him. Married women weren't above bringing their infants to the bar while they shouted at their womanizing husband and tried to souse out his female co-conspirators.  <br />
<br />
I read a book called <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Intimacy-Solitude-Balance-Closeness-Independence/dp/0393313611"><i>Intimacy and Solitude</i></a> a while back. The author wrote that "feelings are much slower learners than thought." That resonated with me and I wrote it down on a post-it and kept it on the wall above my computer for a year. It occurs to me now because I think it must apply on the scale of a society as well, that women in Taiwan and the mainland must recognize that they are capable of being autonomous and independent and individuals but are still burdened by the fear of trying to make it on their own. This isn't unfamiliar to many Western women, but I believe fewer would take it to the extremes of suicide. <br />
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<br />]]></description>
 <category>Women</category>
<comments>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=317</comments>
 <pubDate>Mon, 12 Jul 2010 08:13:00 -0500</pubDate>
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 <title>view from the China desk</title>
 <link>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=315</link>
<description><![CDATA[Had the good fortune to be invited along by my buddy from <a href="http://www.chinatwentyone.com/">China Twenty-One</a> to a conversation between <a href="http://www.howardwfrench.com/">Howard French</a>, professor of journalism at Columbia and former <i>New York Times</i> journalist and Jeffrey N. Wasserstrom from <a href="http://www.thechinabeat.org">The China Beat</a> on journalism past, present, and future in China. (That's not what the talk was called, but that's what it was about.) <br />
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They brought up a lot of fascinating issues and were able to volley back their insights as journalists and academics, but Wasserstrom made one point that I thought was particularly relevant for this blog. <br />
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As I may have mentioned, I'm often more surprised by the issues that are actually covered in the English language media here in China than the ones that are censored, but Wasserstrom said that was part of a government strategy to control the way the country is perceived abroad. Since such a tiny percentage of the Chinese population would bother reading the English language media, the government can safely use it to create an image of a media and a society that are much less regulated and more free than they actually are. So while I might enjoy reading about the struggles of homosexuals to be... ... recognized as human beings and respected as members of society, that article might not have made it into the local Chinese language papers. <br />
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It's not surprising to hear that English readers are being spoon fed marketing material. However, my own inability to read the local news continues to frustrate and I'll be glad to sign up for Chinese classes as soon as I can. Not that I think Chinese language news sources will be more revealing, but I'll have access to the bigger picture. 
]]></description>
 <category>Shanghai </category>
<comments>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=315</comments>
 <pubDate>Sun, 11 Jul 2010 06:36:09 -0500</pubDate>
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